“The research we have shows that, cross-culturally, more people are keeping money separate.” Indeed, a Bank of America study published earlier this year seemed to suggest that Millennial married and cohabitating couples were more likely to hold separate accounts than previous generations were. “There has been a generational change,” said Joanna Pepin, a doctoral candidate at the University of Maryland who studies the organization of money in romantic relationships. As newlyweds start their lives together, it is perhaps the clearest way for them to say, to each other and to the world, “What’s mine is yours, and what’s yours is mine.”īut these days, some young couples are skeptical. A third group was allowed to make the decision on their own.A joint bank account has, traditionally, been a sign of commitment. Some couples were then randomly assigned to keep their separate bank accounts, and others were told to open a joint bank account instead. This was the first marriage for everyone involved in the study. Everyone began the study with separate accounts and consented to potentially changing their financial arrangements. Olson and her co-authors recruited 230 couples, who were either engaged or newly married at the time, and followed them over two years as they began their married lives together.
And when that happens, there is a spirit of accommodation that becomes important for individual happiness, mental health and a firmer relationship,” he says. In fact, the study, in a larger context, makes household finances just a pivot for a shared commitment in all aspects of your life. With a joint account, everybody is above board. When you do that secretively, the other partner becomes suspicious about your intent. There can be expenses where the woman or the man may want to spend their money on their individual families. Also, with both partners financially independent, much of the tussle happens over who hid expenses from each other. Sometimes, the sparring goes to the extent of comparing who paid more bills and in what month. One of the major concerns that couples always spar over in my clinic is who is contributing more. The reason most couples follow the “I and you” model is because, according to Dr Kumar, people feel suffocated to be ‘we’ and consider joint ownership as restricting each other’s spaces. This understanding then expands into other areas of role-sharing and taking responsibilities,” he adds, “Also joint bank accounts ensure a transparency where each is aware of what the other one is doing and there is no hiding. Unfortunately, the ‘we’ model figures at the lower end of the spectrum, maybe just one or two out of ten couples who approach us for therapy,” says Dr Satish Kumar CR, Consultant, Clinical Psychology, Manipal Hospital, Bengaluru. This makes any relationship participatory, interactive and balanced. This establishes a joint stakeholdership in every decision, not just money, with the partner aware and approving of every big and the smallest decision, something as trivial as ordering groceries and changing curtains. The first model is about equity and a holistic commitment to each other. “Economic power is important no doubt but based on what I see in my patients, there are two marriage models, the ‘we’ model and the ‘you and I’ model.
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